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How is a Marriage Kept Alive? |
Marriage Maintenance. This isn’t the entire answer, but it certainly is fundamental. Some ask: “Why does marriage have to be so hard?” Our instantaneous society demands quick fixes and easy answers to even the most complex undertakings. We have deceived ourselves into assurance that complicated relationships can be made right in the blink-of-an-eye.
A good marriage requires regular maintenance in the same manner as maintaining a living plant. Sunlight, fertilizer, correct soil and weeding create the optimal environment for the plant to thrive. Relationships are not machines which break down and need repair. Relationships are organic which require life sustaining activity.
Marital maintenance can easily be let go or overlooked. When corporate or municipal budgets are tight, adjustments are made to pare down maintenance as cost savings. In marriages, when time is tight or routine devours energy and initiative, life sustaining activities are lost to the squeeze. The couple is put on the back burner in favor of “family.” Neglect eventually overwhelms even good-tempered marriages.
The weeds of irritations, “too little” times to talk and “too busy” lives soon choke out marital life. I have seen many forlorn couples lament about the “way their marriage used to be.”
“It shouldn’t be this hard” voices the occasional frustrated partner. I do not know of many worthwhile life endeavors which do not require earnest robust effort. Any man who has ever said “I told her that I loved her when I asked her to marry me that ought to be enough” is foolishly naïve or deluded about what couples need for making rich relationships. She who believes “he ought to just know what I need” believes in magical powers that humans do not possess.
Marriages thrive when they are well maintained. Assistance is available to remind and rebuild couple foundations. Call 793-6144 to make an appointment.
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